There are three kinds of athletes:
- Those who let go
- Those who can’t let go
- Those who let themselves go
There comes a time when you have to look in the mirror. You must decide if you’re looking yourself squarely in the eye of TODAY or looking in the slanted rear-view mirror of YESTERDAY. Your past or your future. Which is it?
Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you don’t care to know. Sometimes you don’t want to admit. You can run but you can’t hide. Athletes have only one foe. One ultimate competitor: “The Clock”. You can stall. You can delay. You can beg, borrow or steal time. But “The Clock” always wins. You can’t beat age. Not iconic football players Jerry Rice or Brett Favre. Not basketball legend Michael Jordan or Steve Nash. Tennis stars John McEnroe or Jimmy Connors. All-Star baseball players Derek Jeter or Mariano Rivera. Neither could Hall of Fame jockeys Pat Day or Laffit Pincay. Nobody beats this silent reaper. You don’t win this fight.
You’re best outcome is a draw. A stalemate. A treaty. To come to terms with, and then find peace. It ain’t easy. More than a few have gone nuts in this struggle. For some the battle is very hard, even deadly. I’ve personally known some who didn’t make it.
For the lucky few, the transition is easier. I don’t know why. Is it an easier exit for those who really didn’t care that much? It wasn’t really a passion? No more worlds to conquer? Or did they just get so completely sick of it and burned out, they wanted out? I don’t know. Who am I to say or decide the color of another person’s struggle. I have enough trouble with my own dirt road.
But there comes a day when you have to say to yourself, “why am I holding on to the past”? It’s no longer serving me. It’s dragging me down. In my case, I never achieved the level of success and certainly not the status or recognition of the above mentioned athletes.
I had a “cup of coffee” at the Major League level. That is to say in my sport, I was a jockey and rode at some of the best tracks against some of the top jockeys in the country. At the Major League level, my game time was limited. My victories few and modest. When I rode and competed at the smaller tracks, what would be considered a professional sports equivalent to Class A or AA minor league baseball, my stats and percentages went up. The number of races I rode increased, the demand for my services rose and my victories multiplied. Competition is competition. Winning is winning. It’s addicting. It gets in your blood. The adrenaline. The thrill. The rush. The camaraderie of you and your fellow competitors. You literally go through withdrawals when you decide to exit. Or when you get pushed out, off the stage.
Nobody quits on top. That’s a myth. Why would you quit? You’re on top for Christ’s sake! If you’re not on top at least your making money and having a ton of fun doing it. You are in an elite group, that of professional athletes. Hell, I’ll do this forever! You only know it’s time to quit when you’ve moved far enough down the other side to turn around and see where you’ve been. You can not see a peak when you’re on it. Contrary to what those who’ve never been there think, it doesn’t work that way.
One day you wake up. “The Clock” has ticked off a lot of time. You haven’t played in a while. Maybe in a long while. You still have all your equipment. The tools of the sport. Your sport. The tools of the game you dreamed of playing. The thing in your mind that defined you as a human being. You cling to them. You harbor them almost like a child. They’re somehow precious to you, these tools. This equipment that defined you. It’s hard to admit you won’t be using them again. Ever. But you keep them. Keep them tucked away in a box, in a trunk, several trunks. Because you never know, you “might” still need them one day. Brett Favre hasn’t thrown a pass in five years, yet he is just now “officially” retiring. Michael Jordan spoke of retaining that right. That “1% right” to make yet another comeback. One last ditch effort to beat the bastard: “The Clock”. You might want to prove to him and yourself you can still do it.
But you know…now you KNOW…it’s not going to happen. It’s over. The shaking and the cravings and the delirium, it all stopped. The withdrawals are over. Yeah, occasionally you still have dreams at night. Maybe even more than you want to admit. But inside you know, it’s completely over.
Funny thing, I actually trained more winners than I rode. But my last winning race as a jockey was much more recent than the last winner I trained. And even though it’s been a number of years for me since I rode my last race, yesterday I crossed the threshold. Reality showed up at my door and knocked really hard. It startled me. I was secretly dreading this visit – this day.
I pulled out all my equipment, my racing tack. Everything I used in the horse racing world as a jockey. Spread it all out on the floor. Grouped it up, took general and detailed pictures. I want to remember it. It was all mine. But now I’m going to sell it, all of it. It’s in excellent condition. I took great care of my equipment. Most of the tack is relatively new and lightly used. I’d bought most of it in the last couple years I rode during my final comeback. I tossed anything that was even remotely questionable. The new owners need to be able to rely on every single piece. Their safety and livelihood will depend on it. 
All my racing tack will be posted for sale on the Jockey World Facebook page. There will be detailed descriptions, prices and photos. This will give any jockey currently plying his or her profession of riding race horses a chance of getting some really great equipment. Or a newcomer or would-be guy or gal dreaming of being a jockey, an opportunity to get some top quality racing tack to pursue the same dream of being a jockey the way I did too many years ago. There are thousand’s of good races left in my tack. I want to see a good person put it to use in pursuit of their dreams. Not stored away in old trunks collecting dust. 
Can I ride along with you? I won’t add any extra weight, I promise! No. Wait…I forgot, just for a second. I’m moving on. It’s your turn. Go in much success. Have a good trip. A safe trip. I hope to see you in the winner’s circle where ever you ride. Remember, a win is a win. Once declared official, they can’t take those away from you. Well, that’s mostly true.
While I adamantly refuse to let myself go, I plan to continue staying physically fit and healthy as possible. I don’t want to be one of those those former professional athletes, even if one of modest success, who can’t let go. It’s time to say good-bye and actually let it go.
The past does not equal the future. On to the next thing…
Comments 11
I just had time opportunity to read these posts, Clint. I do not know you well….yet. Your moving on will get easier. Change is difficult but so inspiring at times. Hope you will come and learn to throw clay. It will be good for your spirit and I believe you will create amazing work! Ride on with pride! You are so care to…no one can take your wins away from you!
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Thank you Judy, for the kind words. I always try to look forward to the next chapters. Will probably have to take you up on learning to throw clay!
Not to be disrespectful but equibase shows you rode 13 races lifetime… Where exactly were you riding?
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Hey Tim, No disrespect taken. And a totally fair question. I rode a number of years in the late 70’s and early 80’s before Equibase was founded in 1990. They did not become the “official” record keepers for the Thoroughbred Racing Association until ’97 or ’98. I rode off and on at Keeneland, Arlington, Hawthorne in the mid-west. I also rode in Washington State at Playfair in Spokane and a few other smaller tracks in the Northwest during those years.
I trained for a number of years – as I mentioned in my blog post. Equibase, I believe shows something on the order of 180+ wins for me as a trainer. I actually won 296 races as a trainer. There is a pretty big gap in those numbers. They are not as accurate on a daily basis as they portray especially pre-1997. I also rode in the the early 2000’s at smaller tracks – county and state fair race meets in South Dakota, Montana, Washington. Most of these tracks are not covered by Equibase. These small tracks in the Northwest and upper-Midwest are great places to race. They’re fantastic places re-connect with your riding passion and make any kind of comeback a rider is willing to pursue if you’ve got the courage to dip their toe back in the water. These tracks are also great arenas to get started if you’re a new comer wanting to gain valuable experience.
HOWEVER, I did ride at numerous smaller tracks that ARE and were covered by Equibase during that time like Great Falls and Billings and not all of the races I rode at those tracks are in their records. The record keeping was a little shaky. Many days the Equibase people did not show up. The last couple years I rode, it was from early April thru September. Mostly weekends with occasional fair meets running 4 or 5 days. Some days I would only ride 1 or 2 races. Other days I rode 7 or 8 or 9. I’ve seen the 13 race number from Equibase… In reality it was around 60-some races at Equibase covered tracks the last years and somewhere around 300 races during my final comeback time. To be fair to Equibase, sometimes you pick up a mount on the card that day, they don’t pick it up officially. The credit goes to the rider named in the program. Riders get shifted around at smaller tracks a lot. Sometimes a rider wouldn’t show up who was named in the program, they don’t catch it. Also the spelling of your name makes a big difference. I have been listed in programs both as a jockey and a trainer as C. Goodrich, C.C. Goodrich, Clint Goodrich, Clint C. Goodrich and even just Goodrich! This stuff always skews their records.
As I also mentioned in my blog post, my numbers were more modest at the bigger tracks. Better at smaller tracks.. Thanks for reading my post and I hope I answered your question. I can email you some win pictures if you’d like me to – or refer you to other jockeys I rode with or trainers I rode for.
Hi Clint. With some fascination….I started training in MT in 1982. Helena. Did all the fairs mostly. Also ID WYO AB. Yes, did Billings. Was in Great Falls 1995?-1999 right before I left for NM. You feel like family. God Bless. Carolyn
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Carolyn – We just missed each other in several of those years. I rode in Helena in 1980. Rode in again MT, the Northwest and Midwest in the early 2000’s. Hope to meet you sometime soon!
im a 23 year old professional rider and have been sence I was 17. I’ve tasted success in major tracks in the west Santa Anita and Delmar woodbine. And now I find myself riding at mountaineer park in West Virginia. I’m so discureged and burnt out even though I find success here at just 23. I don’t want to quit but I can’t seem to find that happiness I once had and don’t know what to do. I love riding races but I hate working with trainers and agents. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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Alex – Wow… I’m just seeing your comment. It’s a little late to give your comment the answer and thought it deserves – but I promise you – I will reply in more detail tomorrow. Hang in there. I might be able to give you some helpful insight.
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Alex… I don’t have to tell you, horse racing is a tough game. But it’s never been tougher than it is today. This game and that of being a jockey, in what euphemistically used to be known as the “Sport of Kings” has changed so much in the last few years it’s almost unrecognizable to those of us with a past association.
The frustration and burn out your describing is all too familiar. It’s not new, it’s just more amplified and wildly more likely and probable than ever before in the history of the sport. The arena is shrinking, rapidly. Opportunities are thin.
There are no absolute answers but I have a few general thoughts or possible ideas.
1. Don’t give power over your life to those around you that have none. Especially don’t give them power over your career. Be respectful. Try to be nice. Don’t argue, it won’t help and you waste your energy. Better to walk away.
2. Take good care of yourself. Get and stay rested. Take a day off when you can. Burnout is absolutely real. I know first hand. Try to find a diversion for yourself. I’m NOT a golfer but lots of people I know are and they swear by it. Something like this can give you a much needed mental break even if for only a few hours.
3. As a jockey you really don’t think you need to work out – to hit the gym, right? Wrong. DO IT. Join a gym. Work out with weights for 45 or 50 minutes 4 or 5 days a week. Best time to go is after you get done in the mornings, before you have to be in the room. The objective here is not to bulk up (no rider wants to pack on muscle pounds, and you’ve got plenty of muscle) the idea is the mental therapy aspect and to hit your muscles in a different way. You’ll be shocked at how much working out with weights is mentally therapeutic. It’ll invigorate you. DO IT.
4. I know it’s very difficult to find a good agent. Like all good things, they are on the endangered species list. Just try to find the best one you can. Even the best of a bad bunch finds the winner’s circle. You know what I mean.. Find the best agent you can, where you’re riding who will do the best he can. Don’t make it more than it is. He can’t ride winners for you and don’t be afraid to tell HIM which horses or trainers you’d prefer to rider for. Remember, he works for you. Take an active roll in making these decisions but let him take the heat be it with trainers, the stewards or at the draw. That’s what you pay him to do. Remind him, respectfully of that fact.
5. Take responsibility for your actions including mistakes. It’s ok to do that. Everybody makes them. Often times you are much more endeared to others when you admit you did one thing and you should have done another. It opens the door for another opportunity and can save a relationship with a trainer, owner or even another rider. This is not to mention the gate crew, starter, clerk of scales or the stewards.
6. I do not know your work habits but one very important thing to establish is this: show up EARLY. Not on time. EARLY. Showing up even 5 minutes early to work a horse puts you in an elite category. Show up 10 minutes early, you’re instantly a mystical figure. Also, be in the jocks room on time, don’t be late. Don’t be late for anything, media, a meeting, an interview – anything.
7. Here’s something I made a point of doing. I did it religiously. It speaks for you. It’s not a spoken word because it speaks for itself. Always and I do mean ALWAYS, be the first rider out the door and in to the paddock for ever race you ride. Wait by the door, the steps or the rail so no body can get in front of you. It also separates you from the crowd. It raises your game. Make it habit. You’ll rarely have to fight anyone off to win this contest. Take the win and take the lead. Be first. It’s an unspoken discipline.
8. Realize and remember the only real competition you have is with yourself. Of course you’re angling to ride the best horse in every race you can. That’s a given. You really aren’t competing with other jockeys, in essence, you’re only competing with yourself. You can’t make a horse run faster than it can. You can only ride them as fast as they can run. The trick here is to glean any speck of insight from the trainer or pick it up on your own, as to how you can help the horse underneath you be a little bit better. Just 1% better is a lot. The fastest horse doesn’t always win every race. Many times the horse that’s handled the best, ridden the best, placed in the best position to be the best he can be on that day and given the benefit of the doubt – wins. Try to be that rider for every horse. It takes practice. It’s a mental discipline. Try to ride them all like YOU OWN THEM.
9. Be honest with every trainer. I don’t mean tell him his or her horse is a piece of crap, even if it is. Try to figure out how to tell the trainer what might help their horse be at least a lesser piece of crap. Think it through. Ask yourself some questions about the horse you rode or are going to ride. Give it some effort. Don’t just be a jockey with a small “j” be a horseman. Be the horseman you think others should be. If you can impart real, truthful, helpful “insight” to a trainer, they will seek your services. If they can improve their horse with your input, you both win. If they don’t listen or if they take you off after you’ve helped them, just move on to the next engagement. We both know this happens, it’ll happen again. They were never your people in the first place. Be confident, not arrogant. Truth and being genuine trumps all when served up correctly.
10. Lastly, if you just don’t want to do this any more, being a jockey, because you can’t come to terms with it, walk away with your head up. Don’t fight it and don’t delay. You’ve done it. You succeeded. You do not owe anyone the obligation of sticking around if you’re done. Please trust me on this one, as a man of 23, you’re young. You have the rest of your life out there waiting for you. Make as sure as you can you’re making the right decision and take action. Find your next station in life. The racing game itself is not going to get any better. If you decide to stay in the tack, the only thing you can do is work at making your place within the game better and more enjoyable for you. This is true of anything you do in life.
10a. Think about and try this for awhile: Start riding purely for fun. Don’t have an “I don’t give a shit attitude” you won’t have any fun. Adopt the attitude of why you originally wanted to be a jockey in the first place. Ride for fun. Ride for the love of the game. Have fun being the first jock to walk in to the paddock! See how many times in a row you can win that contest. See how long you can go undefeated. Let the rest of it all go. Blow it all off. Ride for fun, they’ll still pay you.
PS – I may have to write an entire blog post about all this subject in general…
I remember 25 years back when I interviewed Jockey Bruce Brinkley for The All Ametican Review. He was a steward of racing then. Question: Bruce how hard was it for you to hang it up.Answer: with tears in his eyes, he said” I’d ride for free today if I could” Horseracing is a talent, a passion and it becomes your history to an extrodinary journey.
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Joann – Bruce Brinkley had it exactly right! I can feel the emotion in his quote..